The Exorcist Club
by Kotohime Haku
Summary: Black Order High, a school where the rich and commoner mingle. As an active student, Allen Walker decides to join a club, and that club is...a helping club...?
1. We're The Exorcist!

Hello to everyone! This is a completely fanfic dedicated to humor, so I believe there won't be any pairings in this. I know, you're probably thinking, "this is just a rip-off of Gintama and Sket Dance. Yes, I watched those anime, but let's say that this is a **parody **of it.

Anyways, D. Gray-Man belongs to Hoshino Katsura!

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><p>No matter what year you are in in high school, or what kind of high school it is, you must absolutely join a club. High schools have a variety of clubs: the basketball club, the music club, art club, softball, baseball, football, etc. But most of these are the common clubs, because there are a lot of people who like these clubs.<p>

But choosing which club to go to is the difficult part.

Allen Walker didn't really have much interest in stuff like clubs. He was quite good in sports and was often invited to some sports club, but he politely refused them, since sports didn't catch his interest. He was good in music as well, and was asked to join them, but he refused that as well.

He sighed and ruffled his silver-white hair as he walked through the school grounds. _Maybe I should join the art club…? _But his art skills sucked terribly, so he quickly shook that suggestion away.

He took a seat by the fountain and took out a sandwich and munched on it. _It's already my second year of high school and I still haven't decided on a club yet…_ His eyes flickered to a bulletin board that had posters of different clubs. Curious, he got up and decided to pick one from there.

In the mess of all these hand-drawn posters, only one caught his eyes.

The Exorcist Club.

"_If you're ever in trouble, please visit the Exorcist Club on the second floor all the way at the end of the hallway!" _Was what the paper said in big, cutesy letterings with hearts and smiley faces all around it.

Allen could feel his motivation drain away. "What kind of club is this…?" He wondered. There probably wasn't any point to this club, but simply to just…past time?

Gee, and here he thought that rich kids in Black Order High would be a lot smarter than this.

So Allen left the garden and headed straight back to the school building, finishing his sandwich along the way.

His classroom was on the first floor and was planning to just sit there and read some of the manual that the principal had given him to learn more about this school. He couldn't get the Exorcist Club out of his mind, so he decided to take just a tiny peek at the clubroom and then walk away.

He walked up the stairs to the second floor, walked to the end of the hallway and saw a door with a sign that said, "Exorcist Club."

He fixed his red tie and dusted off the dust on his black uniform with silver linings. He stood up straight and tall and put his hand on the knob. He took a deep breath, and then slowly twisted the knob. The wooden door opened up a crack, which Allen peeked through.

_N-No one's there…_ Allen thought, after scanning the room. _Where did everyone go…?_

"Hey, who are you?"

Feeling a killing aura and that deadly voice, Allen immediately twisted his body, and caught the wooden sword that was only a millimeter away from his head.

"Th-That was dangerous!" Allen shrieked, completely horrified. "What was that for!"

The man spat. "Why are you looking into our room without permission?"

"I-I was just—"

"Yuu, what are you doing?"

A new voice suddenly came in, which made Allen and the attacker turn around.

The man "tch'ed" and huffed. "I found someone suspicious."

"I'm not anyone suspicious!" Allen retorted back. "I was just looking around!"

The other guy with red hair took a long stare at Allen. Suddenly, he said, "Do you need anything from our club?"

"No," said Allen. "I was just looking around to find which club I should join—" He was cut off when he saw that redhead's green eye sparkling like he just found free chocolate on his desk.

He clasped his hands together and exclaimed, "Then join our club! We're the Exorcist Club, and we'll help anyone and anybody in trouble!"

Allen gave him a nervous chuckle. "T-Thanks, but I don't think I'll have any…" He stopped and stepped away when he saw a teary eyed redhead.

"Y-You won't join…?"

"N-No, it's not that I won't join, b-but it's more like I never had intentions to join in the first place…"

"Then you'll join now?" the redhead said, all evidence of his mock tears gone.

"N-No, I-I never s-said that I'll join…"

"Hey!"

Allen jolted when he saw a textbook whack the redhead's head with full force. It was a girl with long teal hair tied into two ponytails.

"Don't scare new members like that! That's why we never have any new members each year!"

The redhead grinned and rubbed his head. "Hehe… Sorry, Lenalee."

Lenalee sighed and shook her head. She walked up to Allen and smiled apologetically. "I'm sorry about our president. I'm Lenalee Lee." She took out her hand, offering a handshake.

Allen took shook her hand while scratching his head. "I-I'm Allen Walker. Nice to meet you…"

"I'm Lavi Bookman!" the redhead suddenly exclaimed, popping up in between Lenalee and Allen. "I'm the president of this club! And this guy here," he grabbed the boy with the wooden sword. "Is Yuu! Kanda Yuu!"

"Don't call me Yuu, you stupid rabbit!" Kanda shouted, trying to push Lavi away.

"Aw, we've been buddies for such a long time already! You should be used to it by now."

"Shut up, you moron!"

"Now, now, both of you. Calm down already," Lenalee said, attempting to stop those two as usual.

Seizing this chance, Allen decided to _slowly _tip-toe away…until Lavi just grabbed his shoulder with a lop-sided grin (with some additional shadows from his bangs) and said in a honey-coated dark voice, "Where do you think you're going, Allen~~~~?"

Allen slowly turned his head, trying to laugh it off. "I-I'm just going to use the restroom for a minute…" Before he knew it, Lavi was already dragging him on the floor!

"Ahh, don't worry about it! Our clubroom has one; you can just use this one! It's much closer!"

"Waaah! Lenalee, help me~~~~!"

"Hey, Lavi! Don't be so pushy!"

Lavi grinned. "If I'm not pushy, then he might get away!"

"Don't speak as if I'm an animal or something!"

"Lavi!" Lenalee scolded.

Lavi pouted and dropped Allen to the floor. He held up his hands as if surrendering himself to the police. "Fine, fine. I'll stop being pushy. But it's true that you can use the bathroom in our clubroom though."

"I'm not going to fall for that, Lavi."

"Whaaat? You think I'm a bad guy now? It was just a joke!"

"You're actions don't exactly follow your words!"

Lenalee sighed. "Alright, break it up you two! Let Allen-kun do what he wants. If he wants to join, then he'll join. If he doesn't, then we'll let him go peacefully without chasing after him, got it?"

"But we need one more person to join to become a proper club!" Lavi whined. "It should be a miracle how we managed to stay as a three-people club for this long."

"We can always get other people, right?" she replied. "It's not like Allen has to be the one—"

"U-Um," Allen interrupted. "I-Is it fine… If I at least know what you do everyday… I-I might consider…joining…your club…" he mumbled the last few words in an inaudible voice.

But with Lavi's ears, nothing can escape from his ears. He glinted. "Seriously? You'll join?"

"I-I said maybe!" Allen exclaimed, flustered. "If you can at least show me what kind of jobs you guys can take—"

"Hello there, Lavi!" A new voice suddenly said. A girl just hopped towards them holding a container smiled and handed it to Lavi. "I made some cake in my club! Would you try it with your friends?"

"Wow! It looks great! Thanks!"

The girl giggled. "No problem! It's a thank you for finding my cat the other day!" And with that, the girl hopped away.

Absolutely no sound was made after that girl hopped away.

"Well, let's eat the cake, everyone!" Lavi cheered, breaking the silence.

"…I-Is this what you do everyday?" Allen asked, blinking.

Lenalee smiled, but her eyebrows told otherwise. "Y-Yea, I guess… We're pretty well-known in this school…for doing unproductive things like helping somebody find a lost cat or something…"

"But this is a school filled with rich kids, isn't it?" asked Allen. "They have their own bodyguards and search parties, right?"

"Well, that's how it seems on the _outside_," Lenalee explained. "In reality, Black Order High accepts normal people as well, not just rich people. And besides, our students have some…_issues _so those bad people don't want to mess with us."

Allen just stared. "What do you mean, issues?"

Lenalee smiled. "You don't need to know." Allen tilted his head in confusion, but he simply let it slide.

"Ah, but if all three of you are this wealthy, why did you bother making this kind of club?"

"You should ask the president," Lenalee said. "Now, let's go back inside and eat the cake." She seemed like she didn't really want to talk about it. So, being the gentlemen he is, Allen didn't push it further. He followed behind a growling Kanda, who was emitting a deadly aura that clearly coded, "_don't come any closer" _like a hissing cat.

The silver-headed boy simply narrowed his eyes at him. _Stupid straight-fringe, _Allen silently thought, before walking. His insult indirectly directed at Kanda was quickly banished when he entered the room behind that plain-looking door that had the sign dangling.

_A gorgeous room._

There was a desk, fit for one person, and behind it was a wide, sparkly window where you can clearly see the sky, the school grounds, and the rest of the city. The floor were polished wood—so polished that Allen thought the floor would squeak if he were to step on it—and the ceiling hung a beautiful chandelier sparkling the entire room.

_Definitely high-class._

There were two fluffy sofas sitting face-to-face with each other, with a rectangular glass table in between. There was also a T.V—flat screen, on top of that—right there embedded on the wall (Allen could see some game systems connected to the T.V), and some comfortable bean bags laying in the corner (probably for when playing games on the flat screen, Allen thought), and there was a little mini kitchen corner next to Allen, where there was a stove and a cabinet.

_This is impossible._

Allen gaped at the room animatedly.

"Hm? What's wrong, Allen-kun?" asked Lenalee. "Are you ok?"

Allen could only manage out the words, "I—I, w-what—where, h-h-how—"

"Huh…Oh! Are you surprised at the room? Oh, don't worry too much about it. This is all within our budget limit. The principal doesn't like us to just freely spending money, so we bought the cheapest ones we can find," Lenalee explained with a smile.

Allen continued to gap. "Th-This is…a-all w-within your b-budget l-l-limit…?"

"Yup!" Lenalee exclaimed, smiling.

"H-How m-much…?"

"Umm…" Lenalee took a moment to think. "I'd say about… ********* dollars! See? Cheap, isn't it?"

Allen felt like was turning into Edvard Munch's The Scream painting, falling into the trap set up by the minds of the high-class. Ah, the world seemed so bright to him…he felt so light-headed… "Ah… I can see Mana…"

"A-Allen-kun?" Lenalee gasped.

Ah, the superiority of rich…

A single flick was enough to wake Allen back up.

"Gah!"

The flick sent an electric shock through his systems that shook him up. He rubbed his forehead. "Ow! What was that for, Lavi?"

Lavi grinned. "You were spacing out, so I thought a flick was enough to wake you up! Come over here and eat some cake with us!" He danced around holding the container like it was a holy item.

Allen continued to rub his forehead as he stared. Lavi was still fooling around, Kanda was glaring with him with a scowl, and Lenalee was simply standing there smiling. This made Allen smile.

_This is nice…_

"Hm? Allen?"

"H-Huh?"

Lavi was staring at him with wide eyes curiously. "You're spacing out a lot. Are you alright?"

"Y-Yea," he smiled. "I was just thinking this is a nice club…"

"Of course it is!" Lavi exclaimed proudly, nose high in the air. "We're the trustworthy Exorcist Club!"

Suddenly, as if on cue, a knock rang through the door. Lavi jumped out of his seat, "Coming!" and opened the door. There, revealed a young boy shyly standing there with a flustered face.

"U-Um…" he mumbled, fiddling with his fingers. "Y-You're the Exorcist Club, right…?"

"Yup," Lavi exclaimed. "Come in and have a seat!" He led the boy onto their high-class couch (which the boy stiffened from) and served him some tea (made by Lenalee).

"So," Lenalee said, taking a seat. "What's your request?"

Allen observed carefully.

The boy stared at his shoes with the same red face. "I-I want you to find something for me."

"And what may that be?" Lenalee smiled. Allen could tell she has experience in this.

"Um… A-A photo. Specifically, a photo of m-my g-girlfriend and I-I…" He mumbled softly, his face deepening into a scarlet red.

Lavi popped in and exclaimed, "Wow, a girlfriend! I didn't know a shy boy like you would have a girlfriend!"

He blushed.

"Lavi!" Lenalee scolded and slapped his head. "Don't be so rude! I'm sorry; our president is an idiot…"

"N-No, I-it's ok…" the boy said. "B-By the way, I-I'm Zach Loyane."

"Well then, Zach," Lenalee said, trying his name out. "We accept your request."

Zach brightened up and exclaimed, "T-Thank you!"

Lenalee smiled. "No problem. Then first things first—can you at least describe to us how the photo looks like?"

"Oh! I have that photo on my phone…" he flipped his phone open and searched through it and showed it to her, followed by Allen, Lavi and Kanda trying to take a glance at it.

It was a photo of a smiling awkwardly Zach with a tall girl with blonde hair and tanned skin with thick make-up smiling cheerfully.

"She's Yamamoto Mika," Zach said bashfully. "We've been together for two years already.

Everyone's jaws dropped. W-What a great difference…

"W-Woah…" Lavi mumbled, the cookie slipping out of his mouth. "I-I'm surprised you managed to get a girl like her…"

"S-She's actually my childhood friend… But I-I confessed to her two years ago, and then w-we started to go out…"

"T-Then," Lenalee said, moving on. "Can you tell us where you dropped it?"

"I-I think…it was somewhere around the cafeteria…" he said.

"Well then," Lavi got up, "To the cafeteria, we go!"

../..

"Ah, sorry," the janitor said once they explained the situation to them. "I just cleaned this place. But I didn't see any photos lying around here."

Everyone's jaws dropped (except Kanda whose eyes just widened) to the ground.

"W-What!" Lavi shrieked. "A-Are you absolutely positive?"

"Yes, I'm positive," he sighed. "Sorry about that guys. Now let me go back to my job." Then he began to mop the floors.

Lavi glanced at his friends before sighing. "Then…why don't we looking somewhere else?"

Zack seemed disappointed, but he nodded.

The next place they went to was the auditorium. They searched behind the seats and every corner on the huge floor, but they did not find any photos—

"Ah!" Allen exclaimed. "I found something!"

They flipped their heads to him. "R-Really!" Zack exclaimed.

Allen proudly held up nickel. "I found a nickel!"

They all slammed their heads into the wall.

Shortly after that, they went to the classrooms, the gym, the bathrooms, the lockers, the office, the hallways…they looked everywhere in this giant school and still couldn't find it!"

Exhausted, they all plopped themselves onto the bench. "W-We can't s-seem to find it…" Lavi panted. "A-Are you sure it's h-here, Z-Zach…"

Zach stared at his shoes. "U-Um… Excuse me for saying this, but…aren't you all very wealthy? Why don't you use bodyguards are something…?"

"T-That," Lavi panted. "Is the number one rule."

"W-What?"

Lavi took a moment to catch his breath. "I don't need bodyguards or anything to help people. I do this because I want to."

"Oh…" Zach mumbled. "I see…" Suddenly, he felt a vibration in his pocket. He immediately took his phone out and flipped it open to read a text: _Zach, where are you? The teacher is looking for you right now!" -Mika. _

He snapped his phone shut. "Sorry, I have to go now. And I'm sorry I dragged you out here…you guys can all go back now. I'll go look for it myself…bye!" And with that he took off.

Lenalee glanced at the redheaded president. "Well, President? What do you want to do?"

"…let's continue to find it," he said.

Lenalee smiled. "Roger."

../..

Zach sighed as he clutched his bag. "In the end, I couldn't find it…" he mumbled as he walked.

"Couldn't find what?" came a familiar voice.

Zach immediately flipped his head around. "L-Lavi!" he exclaimed, eyeing the Exorcist group covered in sweat and dirt.

Lavi grinned as he held up a very familiar photo in his hands. "Looking for this?"

Zach, almost in tears, ran up to him and grabbed the photo. "T-Thank you! I-I… T-This photo…y-you f-found it for me…?"

Lavi grinned. "You requested for us after all."

Zach smiled with tears brimming his eyes.

Allen wiped his sweat with his sleeves and smiled. This is nice. He tapped Lenalee and said, "Do you have an application to join the Exorcist Club?"

Lenalee gapsed, Lavi's eyes sparkled, and Kanda grumbled.

"O-Of course!" the girl exclaimed. "C-Come to the room with us later!"

Allen smiled. "Yes!"

And thus begins Allen Walker's life in the Exorcist Club.

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><p>How was it? And although this story sets somewhere (I dunno yet) in the U.S, I'll add the Japanese suffixes in it (-kun, -chan) in it simply because I don't like to disturb the character's words and such.<p> 


	2. Cafes, Fangirls, and Maid Outfits

OH MY HOLY BLUE CHEESE I SCORED FIVE REVIEWS ON MY FIRST CHAPTER! That makes me so happy. I don't think I've gotten this many reviews for one chapter before. Thank you, thank you! *hug hug*

D. Gray-Man belongs to Hoshino Katsura!

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><p>Lavi snored loudly on the couch with a bubble rising up and down on his nose. Lenalee was peacefully sipping her tea, while watching the T.V. Kanda was cleaning his bamboo sword. The room was absolutely gorgeous, but there is absolutely nothing but a sense of laziness inside.<p>

Allen had walked in at the wrong time.

"Umm…" he began, closing the door. "What are you doing…?"

Lavi's bubble popped and his woke up with a jolt. "NO! THE BUNNIES ARE ATTACKING!"

Kanda mumbled something incomprehensible, but he sure wasn't anything pleasant. Lenalee clanked her tea down and smiled at Allen. "We don't have any requests today," she said, ignoring Lavi like nothing.

"I can see that…" said Allen slowly. "…but its lunch period…is this all you guys do all day…?"

"I spent my life here last year," Lenalee said, sipping her tea. "Because we never know if we ever meet our client." She poured a cup of tea for Allen. "Tea?"

"Ah, yes please," Allen said, gulping his tea down. "Oh? Milk tea?"

"Hong Kong style," said the girl. "Want some more milk in it?"

"Ah, more sugar too, please," Allen smiled. Lenalee poured him another cup of milk and sugar, stirred it for him, and he drank it blissfully. "Ahh…this is delicious…" he purred. Then, a shock of electric sprinted through his systems and shook him back alive.

"Wait! This isn't what I came here to do!" he exclaimed. "I thought this is a club that fulfills people's requests! Why are we still standing here drinking tea?"

"Shut it, bean sprout," came Kanda's voice. Allen glared at him. He sat his cleaning utensils down and drank his traditional green tea. "If you don't like it, you can scram."

They both glared at each other so hard that there were sparks flying all over the place!

_What the heck is wrong with this guy…_ Allen thought distastefully, glaring at the guy. _Ever since yesterday, he's been acting all grumpy with a scowl…_

Kanda glared at him ten times harder, thinking, _Beansprouts have poison in them recently like cantaloupes…_

Lenalee sighed and shook her head.

Lavi rubbed his eyes. "Oooh! Allen, you're here!" He glomped onto him which broke their glaring contest.

"L-Lavi! I-I meant, P-President!"

"Whaddya want, bean sprout?"

"It's Allen! And please get off of me!"

Lavi peeled his hands away from Allen with a pout. "You're so mean, beansprout!"

"No I'm not, and I'm Allen!"

"He's just a bean sprout," Kanda butted in.

"IT'S ALLEEEEEEENN!"

Lenalee sighed as the three of them argue about something pointless again. Then brought the cup up to her lips, until she saw the door swing open.

Like magic, the three stopped pinching each others' cheeks and glanced at the door, where a girl with creamy coffee-colored skin, purple rimmed glasses and hair pulled back into a short ponytail stood.

"This is the Exorcist Club, right?"

Lavi slapped his cheeks with his jaws dropped, Lenalee stared with wide wides, Kanda grunted with a scowl, and Allen was in the center with the biggest eye-opener face of all.

The girl stood there with a nonchalant face. "…hello?"

Lenalee was the first to break it. "A-Ah! Yes! I'll bring some tea, so please take a seat!" she hurried over to the mini kitchen section and quickly poured some tea.

The girl took a seat as Lenalee served her some tea just in time. Lenalee took a seat on the opposite of her where the members of the club, staring intently at her.

With a poker face, the girl said, "What're you saying at?"

"A-Ah! Excuse us," Allen spoke up with a flushed face. "We don't get requests often…"

The girl simply stared. "Oh."

"I'm Allen Walker," the boy introduced.

Lenalee smiled.

"I'm Lavi Bookman and this guy here is Kanda Yuu!" Lavi exclaimed, pulling Kanda by the shoulder.

"I'm Nona Haydon," the purple-rimmed glasses girl said, nodding. "Allen, you're in my class, aren't you? How can you not remember me?"

Allen's face turned into a bright red color. "S-Sorry… I'm not good at remembering faces…" he scratched his head while staring at his shoes.

Nona didn't say anything. Instead, she simply went right on. "There's something I want you guys to help me with."

"We'll do whatever you ask us!" Lavi exclaimed.

Nona sipped her tea before explaining the job. "After school today, meet me at the school gate." She got up from her seat. "Thanks for the tea. That's it."

"E-Eh!" Lavi got up as well. "W-Wait! You still haven't—"

Nona glanced over her shoulders. "I'll explain after school." And then she walked out of the room.

Everyone simply stared at the door. Lavi scratched his head. "Then…everyone meet at the gate after school," he ordered.

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><p>The bell dinged diligently, and school was over. The Exorcist members gathered around the school gate, where Nona was waiting.<p>

"So," Kanda huffed. "What's the job, woman?"

"You guys…" Nona began, "will help me with my part-time job."

…

Everyone froze, only the birds were chirping.

"WHAT?"

Nona plugged her ears from their united shout. "You said you'll accept any jobs, right? Then help me with my part-time job," she explained in a monotone.

"Well that's true…" Lavi said, before saying dramatically… "…**I've never worked before in my life**."

Allen had this urge to want to bang his head on the gates.

"It's simple," said Nona. "It's just a café. One of you will have to cook, and the rest will have to been waiters or waitresses."

"What job are you on, Nona?" Lenalee asked.

"I'm doing the cooking," she answered with a usual poker face.

"Then I'll help you out with the cooking!" Lenalee offered excitedly.

"That'll be good. Then what about the rest of you bunch?" Nona said, staring at them. "You don't have any choices but to be waiters."

Kanda scowled. "Hell no. I'm not doing anything."

"Yuu!" Lavi scolded. "Don't be like that."

Kanda "tch'ed" as usual and looked away.

Lavi smiled at Nona. "Then Nona Haydon…we accept your request."

* * *

><p>Girls were whispering among themselves excitedly as they passed by a little shop that read "Little Tea Time" in fancy fonts. It was a small café, but the windows were wide and shiny that you can clearly see both inside and outside.<p>

"Hey, did you see him?" whispered one girl to her friend. "He's so hot!"

"Hey, that long haired one looks handsome as well!"

"Let's go in!"

"Yea!"

So the two girls walked into the café. The bells ranged softly, and immediately, a gentle lady-killer smile greeted them.

Allen Walker smiled at them. "Welcome to Little Tea Time, ladies. How may I help you?"

The two girls blushed with hearts in their eyes, drooling in front of him. "Y-Yes!" they exclaimed, still drooling.

Allen smiled as he guided them in.

Then a certain redhead waltzed in. "Hey there, girls!" he grinned. "Today's special is the Strawberry Cake Set perfect for you wonderful ladies!"

The two girls practically went gaga over him.

Then Kanda rolled along. "We have rose tea…" he mumbled quietly with a scowl. But in the girl's vision, he was **smiling!**

That was final killing blow. The two girls died of extreme hyperventilation! Well, at least they died happy.

"I-It's great to be alive…" murmured one girl before passing out.

The rest of the customers (who were ninety-nine percent girls) stared at them with hearts in their eyes.

"Me, me! I want a rose tea, too!"

"No, I want this Chocolate Heart Strawberry Mousse!"

"I want three hearts, please!"

"Three more cups, please!"

"No! Me!"

As the girls kept on ordering and shouting over the three, Allen could only think about one thing: Girls are terrifying.

"Please wait one moment, ladies!" Allen shouted over them, prying one away from his legs. "We'll get your orders shortly!"

Lenalee chuckled as he whisked some eggs. "It seems rather lively out there."

Nona nodded, secretly thinking in the back of her mind, _I knew they would attract customers. _"Are you tired? I can take over if you'd like," Nona offered, as she stirred the jello mix.

Lenalee shook her head. "It's fine! I do this often for my friends."

"You mean the Exorcist Club?"

"Yup! I guess it was around last year when I joined…" Lenalee giggled at the thought. "I made cookies for them, and then the President ate so much that he nearly suffocated! Then the next day, I made more for them and they ate it so happily… I guess it became a habit for me to make snacks for them from time to time…"

"And I thought rich people didn't make their own food," Nona said bluntly with her usual poker face.

Lenalee smiled as she poured the eggs into a bowl of flour and began to mix it. "I wasn't born into money," Lenalee said suddenly.

Nona didn't stop; she kept on stirring, but her mind was focused on Lenalee.

"I lost my parents when I was young, so I had my only blood brother with me. He worked hard to support the both of us, so I always made us meals…" she turned to Nona. "We were poor, but I was happy with my brother. If it weren't for him, we wouldn't be able to get up to where we are now…"

Nona stopped and stared into Lenalee's smile. A smile that is honestly happy with no regrets.

"Nona! Lenalee!" Allen popped in. "W-We need a Chocolate Rose Cake, a coffee, and the rainbow jelly!"

"Roger!" Lenalee said playfully. "Then, let's go back to work, Nona," she smiled.

Nona nodded. She felt as if she just discovered something major about this Chinese girl right here.

* * *

><p>The moment Allen got back outside…he saw something unbelievable.<p>

The girls stared at him with a glint. They threw Lavi and Kanda aside and charged towards him.

"CATCH HIM!" one girl screamed.

"EH!" A big haul of girls pounced on him and began to…

"Quick! He's resisting!"

"Get me the clothes!"

"Kyaaah! He has a nice chest!"

"Wait! Now's not the time to stare at him!"

"W-Wait…GYAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Please wait for a few moments…

The girls awww'ed at the trio with mushy blushing expressions.

Lavi had bunny ears sticking out.

Kanda had cat ears.

Allen had floppy dog ears. And most of all…they were all wearing a maid outfit…

The fan girls busted into a united hyped scream.

"S…SO ADORABLE!"

"I wanna take them home!"

"Please take a picture with me!"

Kanda growled and took out his hidden bamboo sword. "S-Stay back!" he threatened, but the girls simply went even crazier.

"Aww! It's a tsundere!"

"Yuu, what are you doing, hyping them up even more!" Lavi screamed over the chanting fan girls.

"I'm not!"

Lenalee and Nona poked their heads out of the kitchen. "Hm? Allen-kun, the cakes are re—" They both froze when they see…their outfits.

Nona held a camera in her hand, took a shot, gave them a thumb up, and said, "Nice shot."

Kanda's temper snapped. "WOMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!"

* * *

><p>Allen, Lavi and Kanda rested on the table, completely knocked out. They were mumbling something about how frightening fan girls.<p>

"Good work everyone," said Lenalee, brining in freshly brewed coffee. She passed it out to everyone, which they all drank delightfully.

Allen sighed as the warmness of the coffee and shivered from the sudden warmth.

Lavi drank his coffee with a smile.

Kanda drank with a scowl as always. There's no way coffee can taste good with these people.

Nona drank her own coffee as well staring at the Exorcist group. "Thanks everyone," she said suddenly, which caught everyone's attention. "The manager said that you're all a great help, and that you're welcome to come back anytime." She took our four envelopes and sprawled it out onto the table. "The manager is a very generous person."

Allen's eyes immediately twinkled and he snatched the envelope closest to him. He ripped it open and counted the money inside. "One…two…three…" his eyes glinted. "Thank you very much!" he exclaimed, like whatever had just happened didn't exist.

Nona pretended she didn't see that. "The manager said it's ok for you to keep those uniforms."

"U-Uh… N-No thanks…" Lavi said, pushing the uniform away, visibly creeped out. "I-I don't want to see fan girls anymore…"

Kanda grumbled and tossed his uniform onto the table. "I don't want this."

Nona grabbed the uniform and stared at him with her blank black eyes behind her glasses. "Whatever." She tossed it into the bin that labeled, "Clothes needed to be washed".

Allen folded his uniform and put it away into his bag properly. "Thank you! I'll come back whenever I can!" _I don't have to find a job anymore…hahaha…_ He didn't want to feel _his _wrath, but, he'll deal with the fan girls.

Nona watches them as Lavi playfully ruffles Allen's hair, Lenalee offering more coffee and Kanda just sat there with a scowl as always. It was an odd mix, but they'll work it out. It's a nice group.

"Hm? Nona, what are you staring at?" Lavi said, noticing her silence.

"I was just thinking just how stupid you guys are," she blurted out.

"W-What!"

Lenalee laughs as Lavi tried to "calmly" talk it out with her, but Nona just keeps on retorting him back with her sarcastic and blunt comments, with Allen trying to calm them down, and with Kanda behind them threatening them all with a deadly aura.

Yep, a nice group indeed.

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><p>The second request, and it's to deal with fangirls at a cafe! Haha, the Exorist group sure do have terrible luck... Anyways! Thank you for reading and for the reviews! I'm so glad I was able to update this month... I'll update my other stories as well! Thanks!<p> 


	3. Roses and Komui

Hey guys~ It's been a while since I updated. Although slow, I'm starting to get on track! Hopefully I can finish this story less than 20 chapters. Or maybe even less. Yea, I'm sorry to say it's short ;_;

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><p>Allen walker popped the round pink candy into his mouth and rolled it in his mouth for a bit. He stared at the sparkly ceiling with that glistening chandelier hanging above.<p>

He reached the table to grab another piece of candy, but only to feel nothing. He peeled his gaze away from the ceiling and stared at the glass table. He sighed, "No clients today…?"

Lavi lazily responded, "Yep," as he glued his eyes to the T.V.

Kanda "tch'ed" as always and drank his tea.

Allen snorted. He didn't have to "tch" at him. Or at Lavi.

Then suddenly, the thought just came to his mind. He didn't expect it, but it just came to mind. He said out loud: "Who's the teacher in charge for this club?"

Lavi whipped his head at Allen. Kanda stopped his sipping noises. Lenalee poured herself a cup of tea, smiling.

"What? You don't know?" Lavi said casually, his mouth opened like an O.

Allen shook his head. "It's only been a week since I joined…" he mumbled.

"Apparently the bean sprout's brain as the intelligence level of a bean sprout," Kanda scoffed, clanking his cup down.

An anger mark popped onto Allen's head, but he held his anger in.

"He's in charge of us," Lenalee began. "But he mostly doesn't do anything productive to the club."

"Yup, yup," Lavi agreed, crossing his arms and nodding.

"What do you mean 'productive'?" Allen asked, tilting his head.

"By productive, I mean—" Lenalee began to explain, "—his—"

The floor started to tremble. The tables shook, the couches, the T.V, the chandelier, everything was trembling like a volcano about to release its hot lava. Alarmed, Allen got up instinctively.

"E-Earthquake?" Allen exclaimed, his senses alert.

"N-No," Lenalee said, her eyebrows slanting down. "I'm guessing its him again…" she sighed and slapped her forehead.

"It's begun," Lavi said nonchalantly.

Kanda didn't say a word, except for that growl on his face as always.

Perplexed, Allen looked at them, hoping to get an answer. "G-Guys? W-Why're you so calm, it's a—"

The next thing Allen heard was a big **BOOM** and the trembling stopped.

With his jaws dropped, Allen Walker threw his head out the window and stared out below. There were clouds of smoke puffing out from a window just below the Exorcist Club's room.

He heard multiple coughing and hackings from the room below.

"S-Supervisor!" he heard an angry voice shout. "Y-You did it a-again!" Then a cough.

"I-It's not m-my fault!" a whiny voice came in. "It…I-It was Reever-kun's fault! Y-You shouldn't have stood in my way!"

"YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN RUNNING AROUND WITH THAT DANGEROUS THING IN THE FIRST PLACE!"

"HEY!" roared another angry voice, which shot through Allen's ears. "HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU, _NO EXPERIMENTS IN THE BUILDING!"_

Allen held a blank face with a sweat drop, thinking what in the world just happened. He simply listened to the arguments going on back and forth, which strangely enough seemed to be echoing.

"He's getting scolded again, isn't he?" Lavi said lazily, peacefully sipping his tea.

Lenalee nodded and ate her cake peacefully.

Kanda "tch'ed" yet again and mumbled, "That idiot."

Allen turned around to them. "H-Hey, d-do you know who just…"

Although they didn't notice the argument below stopped, they did hear footsteps coming…

The door slammed open.

A man with a lab coat busted in, "LENALEEEEEEE!"

Allen stared with a shocked and dumbfounded face as this lab-coated man busted in and attacked Lenalee into a big bear hug with tears flying all over like a river.

"REEVER-KUN IS BEING MEAN TO ME!" he wailed.

Lenalee smiled awkwardly and patted his head.

"H-HE SAID THAT I'M USELESS A-AND THAT I SHOULD JUST DROP DEAD!"

"HEY!" shouted another voice, a blonde who dashed in with a lab coat. "I NEVER SAID THAT! STOP MAKING THINGS UP, SUPERVISOR!"

Then another one came in, with round glasses and curly hair, followed by another one with some sort of bandage covering his head and eyes in lab coats.

"C-Chief," coughed the one with glasses. "The vice principal is furious…what should we do?"

"Hold up, Johnny!" the blonde exclaimed, gripping up the whining man by the collar. "Supervisor, what're you gonna do about this!"

"I-I was just trying to show you my new creation…on the ability to keep us awake for days!" the man exclaimed with a comical wink and tongue poking out.

"YEA, IT'S GONNA DOCK OUR SALARIES FOR DAYS!"

"Hold it right there!" Lavi butted in between them, acting proud and important. "If you're going to fight, please take it outside and not in here, Komui."

Komui stared at Lavi for help. "L-Lavi! Reever's bullying me! Recite the school's bullying policy to him!"

"I'm not bullying anybody!" Reever shouted.

"Now, now, Komui as much as you want to keep up with your excuses, we can't help it. Now go apologize as a teacher and supervisor would do and…"

"HOLD IT!" Allen shouted. Everyone stared at him in silence. "Can someone please tell me what's going on?"

"He exploded our room," Reever said frankly.

"And he's complaining to Lenlee," Johnny added.

"And now we're in here," Tapp concluded for him.

"Ah, I see…" Allen said. Suddenly, "No, that's not what I meant. Who the heck are you guys?"

"We're the science teachers of Black Order High," said Reever, still gripping on Komui. "Sorry about the mess. We'll hurry it up and then beat this guy some sense into him."

"So you're going to bully me in private now, Reever-kun!" Komui exclaimed dramatically.

"Just shut up." Reever dragged Komui out of the room. "Sorry to bother you guys." And then they all left like a refreshing gust of wind.

Allen stared at the door. What. Just. Happened?

"And that is our teacher for this club," Lavi said, smiling.

"Eh? Y-You mean, that guy that was hugging Lenalee?" said Allen, pointing at the door.

"Yes," Lavi nodded.

"He's my brother," Lenalee threw in, smiling.

"EH? B-But he acts nothing like you!" Allen hollered, shock all over his face.

"I know," said the girl. "He's nothing like me. Now, let's go drink our tea. It's going to get cold. And later after school, we're going to go visit the gardening club. We have a client."

"Alright, a customer!" Lavi cheered and hopped onto the couch.

Allen stared as all color drained from his face. This is crazy. The school is crazy, the teachers are crazy, the students are acting like this is natural…what the heck is this?

After school, as Lenalee said, they all went to the gardening club.

A huge, muscular man with dark brown skin and blank, onyx eyes that could stare straight into your soul. "San Minor," he said in a husky voice. "Nice to meet you." He took his soil-covered giant hands for a handshake.

Lavi tilted his head up to meet his blank eyes. His legs were shaking like a puppy! He seemed like he's about to cry! "Y-Y-Yes, n-nice t-to meet y-you too…" he met his hand with him and damn were his hands huge!

San nodded. "Hello to everyone else as well." Allen nodded his head nervously. Lenalee smiled and Kanda paid no attention. As always.

San suddenly turned his back towards them (which they flinched) and said, "This way."

"Y-Y-Yes! O-O-Of course!" Lavi stiffly walked behind San along with everyone else. He led them into a greenhouse (Lavi thought it was his headquarters for conquering the world) where most of the school's plants were cultivated.

There were a wide variety of flowers. There were roses, tulips, lilacs, lavender, camellia, peony, magnolias…almost every type of flower you can name.

Allen, Lenalee and Lavi gaped at the place. Kanda seemed indifferent.

"This is amazing!" Lenalee exclaimed, looking around and smelled a flower. "It must've been hard to grow them until they're this big!"

San showed no emotion. However, if you look closely…you can see a tint of pink. He nodded silently.

Lavi thought about him for a moment. Maybe he wasn't planning to conquer the world after all. "So what do you want us to do?" he asked, grinning.

"My friends aren't here today, so I'd like you to help me plant these roses…" he took out a packet seeds. "I'll teach you how to plant them. And…if possible…I'd like it to grow by tomorrow…"

"Tomorrow!" Allen exclaimed. "But you'll need a lot more time than that!"

In Allen's eye, San was glaring at him.

In reality, he was just keeping a straight face. "I-I know…" he mumbled. Allen backed away, shaking comically in fear. "B-But I'd like them to grow by tomorrow…"

Lavi came up to him and said, "Are you planning to give them to someone?"

He nodded sadly. "Y-Yea… It's my mom's anniversary of her death tomorrow, so I'd like to present her with these roses… But I didn't have enough time until today to plant them…" San narrowed his eyes and buried his face into his palm. "I did something horrible to her before she died…and I couldn't face her until today…"

Allen stopped shaking and took a long stare at him. Maybe he wasn't such a scary guy after all…

Lavi smiled gently and patted his broad shoulders. "Alrighty San. We the Exorcist Club will help you meet your mother without any regrets."

"…Thank you…" San mumbled.

Lavi grinned. "Lenalee."

"Yes?"

"Do you mind getting your brother for me? I need him to being me something…"

"What do you need him to being you?" Lenalee asked.

He faced her. "That speed-growing bottle of his."

Lenalee saluted to him and ran off.

A few minutes later, Lenalee came back with Komui with the bottle in his hands. "Lavi!" he said. "I got it for you!"

"Thanks, Komui!" Lavi waved, as he smeared some dirt off his cheeks. Komui handed him the bottle and the redhead grinned at the bottle.

"With this, you can meet your mother with a bouquet of roses," Lavi said to San.

San nodded and hung his head down. "Thank you so much…"

Lavi dripped a tiny drop of the liquid into the soil and closed the cap. "Tomorrow, the roses will be in full bloom. We'll come here straight in the morning to cut them."

San nodded again. "Thank you."

The next day, when Allen came to school, he saw a bunch of students crowded in one place. Curious, he walked up to take a peek. No, he didn't need to peek through the students. It was right there above the student's head. Right there, it was cutting through the clouds. Right there, it was sprouting from the greenhouse.

Yes, the greenhouse.

His eyes popped out.

"WHAT THE HECK!"

Suddenly, Reever and his friends came in, shouting out angrily, "I TOLD HIM NOT TO USE IT! THAT CURSED POTION OF HIS!"

"R-Reever!" Allen exclaimed. "W-What…"

"It's the Supervisor again," Reever face palmed. "He gave you that clear liquid-like bottle, didn't he? That was still incomplete. He originally made it so he can long flowing hair-yes, you heard me, long flowing hair-but something went wrong when we tested it out on a wig so we locked it away but apparently that rotten sun of a gun somehow found it and gave it to you guys." He sounded exhausted from the explanation. "He just turned this into Jack and the Beanstalk didn't he?"

Allen's mouth was still on the ground as he stared at the giant bundle of green with giant and deadly thorns poking here and there and blooming roses. What. The. Heck. How does a chemical that was supposed to make you have long hair make a rose grow up into the freakin' sky?

And most importantly, how is San going to present his rose to his mother!

Oh gosh, this stupid leader forming this stupid group-

"Allen~~!"

Speak of the devil.

Lavi was happily skipping on the road waving his bag around with flowers are all around him. Look at that stupid grin on his face it-it makes Allen want to smack it so badly.

"Lavi!" Allen shouted at him, a tick mark on his cheek. "Look at what you did!" He darted his finger at the giant rose.

"Woooah! That's amazing!" Lavi whistled. "As expected of Komui."

"You really think this is the time to be praising him?" came Kanda's gruff voice out of nowhere. He stood next to Lavi with his bag slung over his shoulder. "That bastard messed us up again."

"You think?" Lavi replied, tilting his head to look at the rose from a different angle. "I think that's fine. Look at that, San's rose reached his mother all the way up to the heaven's!" He exclaimed cheerfully, pointing at the sky.

"Come on, take this seriously Lavi!" said Allen. "How are we going to tell San?"

"We don't have to say anything. All he has to do is look up at the sky," Lavi replied with a grin. "Look, he's coming."

Allen and Kanda whipped their head to the right, seeing San staring at the greenhouse with that usual blank face. His face had absolutely no emotion at all.

In the back of his head, Allen trembled that they were going to get killed. _Oh gosh, say something San…_

Suddenly, San started marching towards them.

Allen shrieked comically and unconsciously grabbed Lavi's arm while Kanda's face tightened, glaring at the huge man.

San suddenly grabbed Allen's hand and held it on tightly, which scared Allen-to the point the started to hyperventilate.

"I-I'm sorry S-San if y-you-" Allen stammered, looking at Kanda for help, who didn't do a thing. However, he stopped when he saw a tear sliding down San's face. He paled. He was hurt that bad that he started to cry! "Nooo! I-I'm sorry I'm so sorry-"

"Exorcist," he mumbled.

"I'm sorry I'm sorry!"

"Thank you."

Allen stopped. Lavi and Kanda stared at him. What did he just say?

"Thank you," he repeated. San looked up with the slightly bit of muscle on his face that formed a smile. He wiped his single tear away. "Thank you." He kept repeating it to them, each time he said it, it was sincere.

….

Lenalee sipped her tea, sorting everything out in her head. It was unfortunate that she came late and missed the incident. "So we accomplished the mission this time."

Allen nodded. "I'm surprised San accepted how we fulfilled the request, though," he said, biting his cookie. "He said 'I hope my mother in heaven can see it.'"

Lenalee smiled. "That's great, isn't it? He was able to give her a nice, big rose from heaven."

"But I'm surprised," came Lavi's voice. He was lazily laying on the couch, eating three cookies at the same time. "To think even San had the guts to say that to his mom. If it were me, I wouldn't be the one living right now."

Kanda scoffed and sipped his tea.

Lenalee was a bit confused. "What did he say to his mother?"

"Well, it's kinda personal, but I'll tell you anyways." He sat up straight and drank his tea. "His mother was a little mental. I won't go into details, but it was family problems that caused her that." He paused to eat a cookie. "As time passed, his mother's condition, to the point she started talking to something in the air. San tried to talk to her, but she wouldn't respond. And then-you'll be surprised to hear this-San slapped his mother-"

Lenalee choked on her tea, staring wide-eyed at him. "Wha-"

"-lightly," Lavi continued. Lenalee calmed herself down and listened. "But San was just a kid at that time, so of course he didn't know that his mother would get worse from just a light slap. He was only trying to snap her out of her little fantasy world. Eventually she went crazy and then died." Lavi sipped his tea, his eyes a little hurt.

Lenalee stayed silent. She was sure how to react. "I guess that giant rose wasn't too bad for him then…"

"Yea…"

Giant rose. The thought flicked in her head. "Come to think of it, what happened to the rose?"

"Komui's getting a scolding from the principal right now," Kanda spoke up. "And his punishment was to chop that thing down and then clean the school."

Lenalee held back a sigh. "That idiot…"

Suddenly, the earth started to shake again.

Allen immediately jerked up from his seat. "W-What?"

Lavi pressed his face to the window. "Ooohh look at that. Awesome."

The three pressed their face out the window…only to see Komui running away at full speed to somewhere. Then when they turned their heads slightly to the left…the giant rose was collapsing. In their direction.

Allen and Lenalee practically screamed as the humongous rose was falling, Lavi whistling and Kanda with a murderous aura surrounding.

Oh-shit-

"**AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH****!"**

Allen swore he could've just saw a flash of Komui flashing his tongue out with a wink and peace sign on his eye into the sunset.

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><p>Komui and Chuuma-sensei are so similar...that he just needs to be as their science teacherclub teacher. Komui never fails to amuse. Anyways, thanks for reading!


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